Emotions and Weight Loss – Fear of Being Attractive

With the emphasis on the beautiful and fit it’s hard to imagine someone actually being afraid of being attractive. Unfortunately, it is an all too common problem with people and weight loss. The overweight individual is doing great on their weight loss program. S/he has a great healthy eating plan leading to slow steady weight reduction. The clothes are getting looser. S/he’s feeling better… then, wham, suddenly s/he sabotages everything accomplished so far.

Reasons Some are Afraid of Being Attractive

Can you come up with a few reasons why there would be fear of being attractive? A few are:

  • Fear of physical intimacy
  • Fear of emotional intimacy
  • Fear of being sexually abused
  • Fear of rejection

As you notice, all the reasons are about fear.

Fear of Sexual Intimacy

How you grow up greatly determines your beliefs about yourself and others. Some people grow up in an environment that proclaims that sexual intercourse is wrong except for pro-creation. Depending upon how the person responds to such declarations, s/he could fear that s/he’ll be damned for eternity if s/he enjoys having sex. What better way to prevent someone from finding you unattractive than to surround yourself with fat.

Fear of Emotional Intimacy

This fear also arises from the childhood home life. The person does not want their parent’s message. In fact, he or she will do anything to avoid it. What better way to prevent people from being attracted to you than to make yourself unattractive.

Fear of Being Sexually Abused

Although similar, this is not the same as fear of sex. The person may truly want to have a sexual relationship, but he or she had been sexually abused and wants to avoid a repeat at all costs. In addition, being a victim of sexual abuse often leads to self-loathing. S/he feels dirty and unworthy. S/he proves this by making herself physically unattractive.

Fear of Rejection

No one likes to be rejected. The embarrassment goes right through the soul whether it’s not being selected for a sport’s team or someone you like letting you know you’re not wanted. When the fear of rejection is so strong, you do what you can to avoid it. You’ll make up any kind of excuse from having to work so much you’re unavailable to making yourself unattractive.

Residing in the Subconscious

People have a natural inclination to form relationship. We humans are made to be communal. Except for conscious decisions to be a hermit on a mountain, keeping apart from others is on a subconscious level. It is due to wounds which prevent you from being free to form relationship.

When you sabotage your weight loss due to fear of being attractive, you need to heal those hidden wounds. When the wounds are healed, you’ll be more successful with weight loss.



Source by Cathy Chapman, Ph.D.

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